this egg fucking froze because our fridge is too cold
Why would you keep the eggs on the fridge?
we keep our eggs in the fridge…so they don’t denature? do you not refrigerate your eggs?
Because of the way our eggs are processed and the prevalence of salmonella in american chickens, americans have to fridge their eggs.
Wait, they don’t refrigerate eggs in other countries?
this guy just asked me if im “full blown lesbian” now what does that even mean like hell yeah i’ve reached the maximum capacity of homosexuality i can finally ascend to gay fucking heaven
Baked some iPhone cookies to trick cops into pulling me over, then I just take a bite and ask if cookies are against the law.
If you come in I’m not letting you go home tonight.
If school isn’t a place to sleep then home isn’t a place to study.
best logic i’ve ever heard
dude it’s so weird how when you’re a kid, socks were like the worst thing you could get on christmas but now it’s like hell yeah please give me some socks i own like two and a half pairs my feet are so cold
this just gave me life
This says a lot about people
you gotta be careful with girls named katherine because it could be spelled katherine or kathryn or catherine cathryn katherin kcatcheyn ckathcryrn catrchckern kathtrine
I wish boobs did the bra thing without having to wear the bra
you put it into words
i iiiij JJJustuTT STARTEDL OoKING AT THITS GIF AGAIN AMD IM LAGUHNG SO FHARD IM CRYING
ＷＥ ＨＡＶＥ ＲＥＡＣＨＥＤ ＴＥＲＭＩＮＡＬ ＶＥＬＯＣＩＴＹ
is that a snake in your pocket or are you just happy t- oh shit its a snake